the day I will leave Olin College

It's for realizations like the following for which I am glad that I have somewhere to write my thoughts, however public they may be.

I've always loved running. When I was young my legs were messed up in a way that might have not allowed me to participate in any sort of physical activity when older, if left uncorrected. Thankfully it was corrected, and I've lived 18 years as an active person, and in high school I participated in cross country, track and soccer. I do sometimes wonder what life would be like had I not gotten injured these past four years, but it is only until now that I've realized that despite any current injuries, I am blessed more than I could have ever hoped for. Now, you may think I'm going to write something deep and thoughtful about life and who know what, but I'm not...

The reason I thought about running has to do with high school, where much of my experience was shaped by the activities I was involved with, especially cross country. In any case, the reason I remembered high school is because of something I thought about the day of my graduation from Saint Augustine High School, my alma mater in San Diego. The campus has banners alongside the football field with the school's emblem/logo, and as I was walking into the gym for the graduation mass, I remember looking up at one of these banners and realizing that I would be leaving Saints after four amazing years. I really enjoyed high school, and I couldn't imagine enjoying college more than my time at Saints....But I was wrong.

I've been here one year, and I stayed at Olin this summer as well...My time here has been amazing. I've learned more than I thought was possible given the time frame, not necessarily about engineering, but about myself and "the meaning of it all." ;) Or at least, what I define to be "meaning and purpose." I can't really put to words even how I've felt in the past few weeks alone. I could go into all the engineering knowledge I've acquired, or how much I've learned about design and starting a business this first year, but I don't believe a list of "what I've learned" would be interesting to anyone. One thing worth mentioning from this past year includes a whole new meta-perspective* that I've gained for understanding the world around me and myself. It is really hard to try and put to words how I feel, but what is really important is something I realized only a few days ago.

I happened to be running, as a matter of fact, when it happened. I was able to run a handful of times recently (my legs normally prevent that from happening), though I did hurt myself a bit on my last run. We were walking back towards Olin and I looked up at one of those Olin banners and said "I can't imagine what it will be like when I have to leave this place." I don't think the person I was with heard me, but that's ok...It would have required a long explanation as to why that banner made me think about my time AFTER Olin. I just couldn't imagine what life would be like after Olin, just like I couldn't imagine myself enjoying school more than I enjoyed my "Saints" high school experience.

Just a couple hours ago I was talking to another Olin student who said something to the effect of:

"Marco, why did we stay here this summer? We can't do this again, we have to get away from here! Otherwise what's going to happen when we graduate?! We won't want to leave!"

While I do think I'll be excited about life after Olin when the time comes, it still feels odd to think that in three years I'm done...(there's always grad school, but still). My life up until now has been focused on being involved with activities I love doing (while doing well in school on the side :D ) At least doing well enough in school to get me INTO college, that is. Well now I'm here, and I don't know how I'm going to leave! We'll see how I feel about this subject 2 years from now :)

*Oliners: sorry for using the word "Meta," though I know how much you love to hear it ;P